The Epidemic of Unhappy People

The Epidemic of Unhappy People

In today's world, stress has led many Americans to depression and a constant state of unhappiness. Over the years, scientists have studied and identified the neurotransmitters of happiness and found exactly where it is located in our brain. We now know that happiness is not an abstract emotion; it is a literal psychological state that can be measured. It is very common these days to find seminars on how to be happy and change the way you think. It is not necessary to be depressed in order to attend these, but many experts recommend it.

•   Less than 30 percent of people report being deeply happy.

•   Twenty-five percent of Americans and 27 percent of Europeans claim they are depressed.

•   The World Health Organization predicts that by 2010, depression will be second only to heart disease in terms of the global burden of illness.

These facts are the real deal; people are struggling to find their inner peace and well-being.

We each have a happiness set point and no matter if the circumstances we encounter are negative or positive, we tend to hover over the same set range. For instance, a study on lottery winners was done and was noted that after a year of enjoying the new lifestyle, they returned to their normal happiness set point. The only way to change that is by making a serious effort to change it. The following are stages that we can categorize ourselves in:

•   Unhappy= depressed

•   Happy for a bad reason= high from unhealthy reasons/addictions

•   Happy for good reasons= being satisfied from healthy experiences

•   Happy for no reason= inner state of peace (where we want to be)

In order to be happy for no reason at all, you must be able to bring happiness into situations versus having to extract something out of situations. It is the art of NOT needing postive things to happen to you because you can MAKE positive things happen. A good quote that we can relate to comes from Thoreau: "Things do not change; we change." It is not as easy as saying, "O.K. today I am going to be happy from here on out." No. We have to look at our habitual habits (which make up 90 percent of all habits) and figure out what it is in life that makes us happy such as: exercising, taking up sports, learning how to play an instrument or any new skill for that matter.

All of our habitual thoughts and behaviors have created certain neural pathways in our brain. They can be described as grooves (imagine a record) and the more we think and do these things, the deeper the grooves become. This is exactly why it is impossible for us to wake up one day and decide to be happy. We literally have to create new pathways in our brain to outweigh these negative ones. I will cover how to do so in future entries.

There are ways to become happy, happier, and stay happy. We just have to look at the science of it and understand what happiness truly is. I am excited to share all this great information I have been studying over the past two years with you and hope I can give some insight to anyone who may need to hear this!

Picking up from last week......

The second guiding principle: The Universe Is Out to Support You                          

A lot of people like to think that the world is out to get us. However, those who have reported being deeply happy believe the world is, in fact, out to support us.

Personally, I have always felt as though everything happened for a reason. Even through the bad times, I always believed there was a light at the end of the tunnel. When I began researching the subject, I discovered that the outlook people have on life really makes a difference on their happiness. Those who are always asking, “Why me?” and blaming others are less likely to live a happy life. Those who appreciate what the world has to offer tend to have more positive thoughts.

Our health is what doctors use in order to prove these statements. Gail Ironson, PhD, MD, professor of psychology and psychiatry at the University of Miami, found that believing that the universe is friendly, indeed, impacts people's health. She did a recent study on people with HIV. Those who believed in a universal power that was loving and supportive remained healthier longer than people who believed the universe was punishing. ------Some food for thought.

Here I am, a firm believer of every single word I write, and yet I still struggle some days. It is not always easy to stay positive and I feel as though so much of my good energy this past week was wasted on being upset over something I didn't have to ability to change. Instead of stressing, that wasted energy could have been shifted to deal with the situation effectively.

The third and last principle: What You Appreciate, Appreciates

The Law of Attraction= whatever we think, feel, say, and act on, you draw to yourself like a magnet. (Like attracts like)

Instead of using this law to draw in things you think will make you happy, understand that being happy is what draws in things we want. I always relate this to how people are naturally drawn to happy people. For example: if two men are sitting at a table and one is better looking than the other but frowning, I am more likely to start a conversation with the less attractive, yet happy one. Being happy and smiling will cause people to want to surround themselves with you and befriend you.

Train Your Brain

Whenever you visit the animal shelter, it isn't the adult cats that you are dying to buy and take home; it’s usually the kittens. Why? Because we think all things grown are set in their ways and can no longer be trained. This is incorrect.

Scientists and doctors previously thought that once we grew up, our brain was set in stone and there was not much we could do about it. However, over the years we have discovered exciting information about our brain's neuroplasticity. Whenever we think, feel and act in different ways, our brain actually changes and rewires itself. This means we are not stuck with those negative neural pathways for the remainder of our lives!

Dr. Richard Davidson of the University or Wisconsin says that based on what we know of the plasticity of the brain, we can think of things such as happiness and compassion as skills that are no different from learning to play musical instruments or basketball. It is possible to literally train our brains to think happy. Most people are not lucky enough to be born happy, they have had to learn how to become happy by practicing good habits that have supported their happiness.

According to New York Times bestselling author and founder of the Happy 100, Marci Shimoff, there are two factors that lead us to suffering and blocking happiness: the Myth of More and the Myth of I'll-Be-Happy-When....

A brief overview of these:

Myth of More:

•   In America, income has increased more than two and a half times over the past fifty years, but the happiness of these people has remained the same

•   Nearly 40 percent of the people on the Forbes list of wealthiest Americans are less happy than the average American

Advertising is to blame for some of this as it leads people to believe..."Well, if I buy this and have that...I'll definitely be happier."

Billions of dollars are spent yearly on ads telling people they are not good enough the way they are and that they need a certain product in order to fit in. We can sit here and say those commercials don't have any affect on us, but due to recent studies, it is a fact that they do and will continue to do so.

Myth of I'll-Be-Happy-When:

•   "I find the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend"

•   "When I have a better job"

•   "When I have a baby"

•   "When the kids are in school"

•   "When I get more praise and recognition"

•   And the ever so famous, "I'll be happy when I lose 20 more pounds"

And the list goes on and on and on and I’m sure many of you know what I'm talking about.

According to Daniel Gilbert, a well-respected Harvard psychology professor who has been studying happiness, humans overestimate the happiness we will receive from getting what we want. We imagine how great it will feel to get that big promotion or go on that awesome vacation, but when we actually get them, we are typically far less happy than we thought we'd be. We consistently think this great “it” or “thing” is going to make us happy. However, the reality is, we must learn to be happy now, in this moment. In order to do so, one must understand that our happiness does not rest in "bigger, more, and better". The concept of happy for no reason is that happiness exists right now, not later.

I will leave you with one of the three principles we are to try and live by. This way you can think about each one individually:

-What expands you makes you happier-

 As some of you know, we are composed of energy. Everything we say, do and everything we're around either expands our energy or contracts it. When our energy expands, we experience greater happiness and when our energy contracts we experience less happiness.

Sit up straight, put your shoulders back, open your arms wide open, take a deep breath, and just smile. You are probably feeling free, open, relaxed, light, and joyful. This=Expansion. Now, to increase that feeling, think of a loved one or someone you admire and enjoy being with. How do you feel now? If your body was hooked up to a scientific measuring instrument at this moment, you would be able to see the increase in oxygen absorption, dilation of blood vessels, muscle relaxation, the smoothness of your heart rhythms and the increased integration of you brain's functioning. This is the Law of Expansion.

Now, hunch your shoulders, ball up your fists, take short, quick breaths and put a frown on your face. Are you feeling anxious, confined, tight or aggravated? = Contraction. Think of someone you are mad at or don't like. You will more than likely feel unhappy. All of our negative emotions cause us to contract and literally contract the flow of our life energy. Your muscles will tighten, breathing patterns change and your circulation is restricted. The level of your stress hormones rise and this, my friends, is what breaks down your immune system and raises the risk of infection and illness.

Personally, I have always always always always struggled with worrying myself to death. It is something I have been trying to work on for years. I have literally gone through times in my life where I have felt unhealthy due to my stress level. This is truly what has driven me to study and research the medical side of happiness, relaxation and peace. Why the medical side? I am the world's biggest hypochondriac. It is ridiculous. However, I have gotten much better (I like to think) over the years. I no longer think I’m dying when I have a stomach ache or think I have a tumor because I get headaches. Oh, but I still feel sorry for my boyfriend because childbirth is not going to be a walk in the park. My doctor will be summoned to move in with me so I know everything is O.K. at all times.........Yes, I have thought about it.

I hate the word "honestly", but honestly, some of this research has helped me in ways I can't even begin to explain. I hope to share all my favorite findings as I continue to post and hope it helps anyone who has ever needed to hear it. With that being said, I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes.

"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."- Groucho Marx :)

Let's Get Happy

It's been proven that having the desire to learn about happiness has a powerful effect. Dr. Michael Fordyce, author of The Psychology of Happiness, conducted the first experiment on happiness. The results showed that students who were asked to study the habits of happy people actually increased their happiness and life satisfaction by simply learning about the subject. However, it has also been shown that it must be something you habitually do over time; not a day or two here and there.

A lot of people struggle with short-tempers and can be quick to talk without thinking. At times, we can all relate to these feelings. The ability to respond to people and occurrences has a large effect on the outcome of situations. We should all try to respond to events in a way that will support our well-being.

This is a concept that I came across from Marci Shimoff: 

·      E + R = O (Events+Response=Outcome)

When we can't change an event we can, instead, change our response toward it. For example, I have road rage but I can't change five o'clock traffic or a car accident. Instead of sitting there yelling and punching the steering wheel (I totally don't do this), I turn up my music and jam until the inevitable happens; traffic starts moving. For some people, overcoming little ticks such as road rage can give you a feeling of power because you took charge of your feelings and didn't let it put you in a bad mood. Imagine some of the worst situations you can possibly think of: prison, being kidnapped, living in an unhappy home, etc. In these situations, your freedom to do as you please may be revoked, but no one can ever take away your freedom of choosing your attitude. Food for thought, huh?

If anyone is interested, The Power of Now is a great book written by Eckhart Tolle that discusses how becoming aware of our own power can get us away from choosing the same bad situations over and over again (unhealthy relationships, different men/women, same problems). Such bad habits can be as basic as complaining, blaming or feeling ashamed. The key is to not be the victim or act like a victim.

But I won't elaborate. Check it out. Good books make good friends on rainy days!